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  1. Law of Mechanical Repair
    • After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you will have to pee.
  2. Law of Gravity
    • Any tool, nut, bolt, or screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  3. Law of Probability
    • The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  4. Law of Random Numbers
    • If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
  5. Law of the Alibi
    • If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
  6. Variation Law
    • If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
  7. Law of the Bath
    • When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  8. Law of Close Encounters
    • The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
  9. Law of the Result
    • When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
  10. The Coffee Law
    • As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
  11. Law of Physical Surfaces
    • The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
  12. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
    • As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
  13. Doctors’ Law
    • If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.

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