Home » JOKES » Archive by category "Marriage"
  • Everyone Thinks They’re Senile

    An Elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

    Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they had shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally."

    On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up. Not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars...

  • Poof

    A 90-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results.

    The doctor says, "Chuck, everything looks great! How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"

    Chuck replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, POOF, the light goes on. When I'm done, POOF, the light goes off." ...

  • Bran Muffins

    The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

    Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

    They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

    They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now." ...

  • Luigi’s Wife

    At Santa Maria’s Catholic Church they have a weekly husband’s marriage seminar. At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married...
  • Friendships

    Friendship among Women A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship among Men A...
  • And Then The Fight Started

    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, “What’s on TV?” I said, “Dust.” And then the fight started… -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want...
  • Elderly Couple

    An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through Martha leans over and says to her husband, “I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” He replies, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”
  • The Deer Hunter

    Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway in rural Texas on the opening day of deer season. They both spotted a large trophy class buck meandering towards them. As one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly...
  • Married 25 Years

    Married for 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day. I said, “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black-and-white TV. But I got to sleep every night...