Organized Clutter

A “paraprosdokian” is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
• I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
• The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

• Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a “near miss”? Shouldn’t it be called a “near hit”?
• What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
• Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? …

• When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
• If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
• Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?
• Why do “tug” boats push their barges? …